By Abhey Singh (IIT Baba)
Ref. Original Article: 12. Love – Abhey Singh
Does love mean sacrificing yourself or being yourself?
A question that seems to demand an answer, a choice between two paths. But love is neither a sacrifice nor an assertion—it is a dance, a rhythm that exists between two, where no one leads, no one follows.
Love is movement. Love is flow. Love is not static; it is the continuous adjustment of energies, the art of moving together without force.
This article explores the essence of love—not as a feeling, not as a duty, but as a state of being where all separations dissolve, and only connection remains.
1. Love is Not About Giving or Taking—It is About Flow
“Does love lie in sacrificing yourself or being yourself? It’s whatever is allowed; love lies in filling the void in others, whether it requires being you or letting go of you.”
Love is often seen as either-or:
- Either you give completely, losing yourself in the process.
- Or you hold onto yourself, refusing to bend, believing love should accept you as you are.
But love is neither.
Love is what is needed in the moment. Sometimes, love asks you to be fully yourself. Sometimes, love asks you to dissolve into another. The key is not in choosing one path forever but in being sensitive enough to know what is needed now.
Example:
A musician plays in an orchestra. Sometimes, their instrument leads. Sometimes, they fade into the background. The music is not about dominance or submission—it is about harmony.
Love is the same. It is neither a sacrifice nor a demand. It is a response, an awareness of the moment.
2. Love is the Dance of Two Becoming One
“Love lies in dance—of me with you. When the steps will match each other, no one will be leading, and no one will be following.”
Imagine two dancers.
- If one dominates, the other is forced to follow.
- If both resist, the dance falls apart.
- But if they move in harmony, they create something beyond two individuals—they create a flow.
Love is not control. Love is not submission. Love is not a static state. It is a continuous adjustment, a rhythm where two people move not as two, but as one.
Example:
Think of the ocean and the waves. The ocean does not control the waves, and the waves do not resist the ocean. They move together, seamlessly, effortlessly.
That is love—moving without force, existing without boundaries.
3. Movement is Life—Love is Moving Together
“Movement is life, so I am moving with others, and others are moving with me.”
Everything in life moves.
- The earth moves.
- The stars move.
- Our breath moves in and out.
Life is movement. And love is when two lives move in sync.
Example:
Two people walking together. If one moves too fast, the other feels left behind. If one slows down, the other must wait. But when they find the right pace, when they adjust to each other, walking becomes effortless.
Love is that effortless movement—a state where both exist without conflict, where both adjust without resistance.
4. Love is Not Force—It is Understanding
“I dissolve not by force but by understanding. When you see it, observe it, know it, it dissolves.”
Many people think love means giving up—that to love someone, you must disappear, lose yourself.
But real love does not require disappearance—it requires understanding.
When you understand someone deeply, when you truly see them, the separation between you and them dissolves—not by force, but naturally.
Example:
A river does not force itself into the ocean. It flows, it moves, and eventually, without resistance, it becomes one with the vastness.
Love is the same—it is not forced unity, but a natural merging that happens when two truly understand each other.
5. We Are Not Separate—Love is the Realization of Togetherness
“We are attached, so it can’t be a solitary action. One is the world he/she projects outward. By talking to others in the world, one is talking to one’s own parts and moving together. There is a realization of togetherness.”
Love is never solitary.
Even when you are alone, you are in a relationship—with your thoughts, with your emotions, with the world you project outward. The love you feel for others is just a reflection of the love you allow yourself to experience.
- A person full of anger sees anger in the world.
- A person full of love sees love in the world.
- The world is not separate—it is a mirror.
Example:
If you throw a stone into a lake, ripples form. Those ripples affect the entire surface. In the same way, every word, every action, every feeling you send out comes back to you.
To love another is to love yourself. To hurt another is to hurt yourself.
6. Conflict is the Result of Not Knowing
“Conflict happens because of not knowing. There is friction because one doesn’t understand how to be in sync. And to be in sync, we need to know.”
Friction in love, in relationships, in life—comes from misalignment.
- When we don’t understand, we resist.
- When we resist, we create tension.
- When tension builds, love turns into conflict.
But conflict is not necessary. It is not inevitable. It only happens because we do not know how to move together.
Example:
A musician who doesn’t know the rhythm will always be out of sync with the band. But once they listen, once they understand the flow, they naturally fall into harmony.
Love is the same—it is not something to be forced. It is something to be understood.
7. The Final Realization: Love is Knowing How to Move in Harmony
Love is not a fixed state.
Love is not a destination.
Love is movement.
- Sometimes, it asks you to be fully yourself.
- Sometimes, it asks you to let go of yourself.
- Sometimes, it is holding on.
- Sometimes, it is stepping back.
But at its core, love is always a dance—a movement where two become one, not by force, not by control, but by understanding.
If we truly see each other, truly understand each other, love becomes effortless. Love becomes life itself.
Conclusion: Move with Love, Flow with Life
Do not ask—“Should I sacrifice or should I be myself?”
Ask—“How do I move with love? How do I flow with life?”
Love is not what you do.
Love is how you move.
Let it be a dance. Let it be a rhythm.
And in that movement, in that flow, you will find—
Love was never something to find. It was always something to become.
